Winter's Victim Chapter 51

The maids delivered them some food and some new clothes to wear. Loki washed up and changed into his immediately, wanting the sting of the venom off his skin. He then sat back down in his seat after watching the sunset to its last breath. He was thinking about how they had ended up in this place, this unfortunate predicament. He nodded off, sitting at her side, his head leaning against his hand.

After a few hours, she woke up and looked around. She felt much better now. She sat up and looked at him sleeping in his seat. She swung her feet out of the bed and placed them softly on the ground and stood up, pushing herself up off the bed and steadied herself against it briefly before softly walking over to the bathroom.

She walked over to the mirror and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked well but her clothes were bloodstained with the dried blood from the battle. She lifted her top up to see if she had new scars. She did, one just under her ribcage on the right of her torso. She lifted the top up over her head and threw it into the basin. She filled it with water and then slipped her leather war skirt off, dropping it into the water too. She looked at the dried maroon blood on her ashy skin.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think of bathing you.” She heard Loki say from behind her.
She turned and smiled at him.

“It’s okay, I’m capable of doing it now.” she said, walking over to him. She gently placed her hands on his torso, thinking that he would have broken ribs.
“I’m more worried about you.” She said, reaching for the bottom of his top.
He looked down at her hands and looked away. She knew exactly what that meant. She lifted his top up over his head and dropped the top next to her on the ground. She looked him over but found nothing.

“And here I was thinking you had been beaten again.” she said softly, looking into his blue eyes.
Blue eyes she would never take for granted again.

“No, it was just the venom.” He said curtly, walking past her into the bathroom.
She turned and looked at him. He set down her clothes on a table in the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. He was pale, skinny and weak. She had seen him like this twice in her life now.

“You shouldn’t have come for me.” he said, dropping his head and looking into the sink filling with water. He reached out and turned off the tap.

“Since when do I listen to you?” she mocked, walking up to him and placing her hands on his shoulders.
“I’m a queen, and I do what I want.” She said, looking at him in the mirror.
A smile played across his face and he looked at her in the mirror.

“That’s my line.” He whispered to her.

“I know.” She giggled and looked down at the ground, blushing.
“But seriously, you should have known I’d come for you.” She said, looking at him in the mirror, killing her laugh slowly.

“I was hoping I was wrong.” He said, turning around and looking at her.
He leaned back on the basin and reached out for her sides, pulling her into him gently.

“You’re never wrong. There is always some truth to the things you say.” She said, beginning to flatter him, building up his confidence again.
“You told me Thor was monster, and you were right.” she said, looking away from him. She had hoped that after the six months she had spent here previously, that Thor would have some kind of soft spot for her, but she was wrong. He dropped his gaze and nodded. Thor could be very cruel when he wanted to be. That was evident in their earlier conversation.

“Vara, we need to talk…” he said softly to her, looking down at the ground.

“I’m not going Loki. Not again. No matter what Thor says.” She said, trying to get him to look at her. But there was something seriously wrong. There was something else on his mind. But what?

“Loki, you’re scaring me…” she said, trying to call his attention back to her.
He looked up at her and smiled weakly.

“You wash up, I’ll get dinner, or early breakfast, ready.” He said, pushing himself off the basin and walking past her into the room.

She watched him leave and walk over to the table with a small amount of food on. He began to dish up some food onto two plates. She quickly grabbed a cloth and began to wash her blood of her body. She was too curious to wait for the bath to tap and then soak in it. She wanted to know what was on his mind now. She dropped the blood soaked cloth into the basin and got dressed into her clothes. Her white dress. Her prisoners dress. She walked out of the bathroom and towards him as he poured them a goblet of mead each. He handed her a plate and goblet. She took it from him and went to the window and sat on the floor. The maids had thought to provide them with everything but a dining table. He walked over and joined her. He began to eat and so did she, but she eyed him carefully, looking for any signs of what he was thinking, but she couldn’t read him. He was good at hiding things he didn’t want her to know. After a while, she couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

“Okay, out with it.” she said, folding her legs under her and looking at him.
He sighed and reached for his goblet, taking a sip.

“Thor was here earlier.” He said to her, not looking up.

“Did the bastard feel any remorse for almost killing me?” she asked him, reaching for her own goblet.
He shook his head and frowned.

“I don’t know, he’s impossible for me to get a reading on of late.” he said, still not looking at her.
“But one thing was very clear.” He said, picking at his food.
She moved closer to him, listening intently.

“And that is?” she asked him.

“Thor wants to hurt us. He wants to separate us or break us, any which way will suit his wishes.” He said, glancing up at her and then returning to picking at his food.

She shook her head and looked out of the window, looking at the slightly lightening sky. The sunrise was close.

“How does he plan to do this?” she asked him, looking back at him.

“He heard that you wanted to have another baby with me, but he said it wouldn’t stabilize Muspelheim fully if you stayed. And it wouldn’t prevent Ragnarök, his ultimate goal.” He said, easing into the suggestion.

“And what will?” she asked him, looking at him and how flustered he was getting suddenly.
He placed his goblet down hard on the floor, causing some to spill over the edge. He was getting angry at the thought of Thor’s suggestion. What could be so bad?

“He wants you to have another child, yes, but he doesn’t want me to be the father.” He said, before glancing up at her, sending her the unsaid words.
She was shocked and taken aback, more than ever before. She stopped breathing and looked back out the window.

“He does?” She said softly, glancing over at Loki, who nodded.
She looked back out over the city and thought about her options at this time. Either way, Loki and she would be hurting. He was right. Thor was trying to hurt them.

“Why on earth would he want that?” she asked him, looking out the window.

“He wants peace, and a common thread between the king of Asgard and the queen of Muspelheim would ensure that peace.” He said, putting it as diplomatically as possible.

He knew that if he put any emotion into it, that she would read it and freak out. They needed to be level headed now. She thought about it, it would ensure peace, but at what price. Loki would hate her, she would hate herself. She couldn’t do it. She shook her head suddenly and looked at him.

“I won’t do it. I would rather be in jail for the rest of my life than have his child.” She said, reaching out and taking hold of his hands.
She felt like she was losing him and he was retreating into his shell again. She couldn’t allow that to happen.

“Some people find him very attractive.” Loki said, looking at his food.
Suddenly his appetite was gone. He couldn’t believe that he was trying to talk her into doing it. Just so she could stay. Was he really that selfish, offering her body to Thor in return for her heart?

“He is, I guess, if you like that kind of thing. But I don’t. He’s not my type. Big and brutish, and besides, I can’t trust him.” she said, thinking about the possibility… no. He was definitely not her type.

“I won’t do that to you either.” She said looking at him.
“I know it would break you.” She added, squeezing his hands.

“If you agree to it, then you’ll be moved into a room, and I’ll stay in the dungeons. I won’t see it.” he said, trying to convince her again. He really was that selfish. Could you blame him? She was the only bit of sunshine he had ever experienced. He didn’t feel so bad for wanting to hold onto that.

“No, but you’ll know.” She said.
She really didn’t want to do this, why was he trying to convince her to.

“You’ll know… no.” she said, looking away and out of the window.
“My advisor can take care of the realm. I’m staying here and not sending Thor’s child to Muspelheim. He can’t force me. I don’t care if Ragnarök comes, we’ll be fine. My men won’t hurt me, or you.” she said, thinking that was another option.

“Think about it in the very least.” He said, looking up at her.
“Thor isn’t going to forget about it.” he said, looking at her worried face.

“No, I won’t even consider it. Not for a moment.” She raised her voice to him.
Why was he trying so hard to get her to say yes?

“The only other option is for you to go back to Muspelheim. And I don’t want that.” He said, telling her why he was trying to convince her to have Thor’s child.

“That’s not an option. It’s a life sentence of pain… for the both of us. If I do either, you will hurt. So you lose any which way.” She said, trying to let him know that she wasn’t going anywhere, but she was also not giving into Thor.

“Is it all about how much I’ll hurt?” He asked her.

“Yes.” she nodded wildly. She didn’t care for her own feelings, only his.
“I can handle just about anything, but your heart, it’s already broken. I have no intention to make any more cracks.” She said, leaning back on her hands and looking at him.
“I will find a way out of this.” She said, looking out the window again.

Thor had really thrown them a curve ball this time round. He wasn’t fighting a battle with fists and hammers, he was fighting with wit and emotions. He knew it would hurt more than a flesh wound if he broke their hearts and kept them apart.

“What do you think I’ve been doing all the time while you’ve been out.” He said, looking at her.
“I’ve been trying to find a way out of this. I can’t.” he said.
She hung her head and sighed heavily.

“And I’ve looked at this from every angle. There is no way out. Either you have a child with Thor, or go back to Muspelheim.” He said, giving her only two options really.

She stared at him, knowing he was right. Thor could be stubborn when it came to trying to stop Ragnarök. He wouldn’t give her any other options. She hung her head. She would have to go back to Muspelheim, and forget about Loki. No doubt if she ever tried to save him again, Thor would kill her. A tear ran down her cheek, but she showed no other emotion. She had to let him go, for the safety of both realms, despite their breaking hearts. It was hopeless.

She knew she could never lie with Thor. Never. No matter what the pros were. But she couldn’t just leave him here alone, to be in pain. He sighed, seeing her tears and her hopeless face. How could his brother be so cruel?

“I feel the same.” He whispered to her, knowing exactly how she was feeling without her even speaking a single word.
Even though he knew she was going to leave and go back to Muspelheim and never come back for him, he couldn’t show her that he was shattering on the inside. He needed to show strength for the both of them.

“You won’t want me after I’ve had Thor’s child.” She said despondently staring out into nothingness.
She couldn’t believe she was actually thinking of agreeing to it.

“That may be true, but you’ll be here with me after. We can take our chances.” He said, seeing a glimmer of light at the end of this dark tunnel.

“No.” she shook her head.
Their relationship wasn’t something she would ever allow him or herself to take chances with.
“I can’t take my chances.” She said, finally looking up at him, her eyes red and damp from tears.
“Will you be able to live with it, yes or no?” she asked him.

She needed to know. Would he forgive her or would he resent her for the rest of her years. He dropped his head. He knew the answer, but how to break it to her gently. He knew that after he said this one word, just this one little word, things would change forever. When this word chimed, everything they had would be over. Paradise was burning, and there was nothing he could do to save it.

“No.” he whispered to her.
She nodded and looked out the window again, tears running down her cheeks. That was it; she needed to go back Muspelheim. But she would need help from Thor and maybe even Frigga and Odin to ease Loki’s pain. There was no painkiller strong enough to ease it, so magic would have to do. She would just need to suffer through it. In a few centuries, she would forget about him, or at least, a little.

“Anyone else would be fine, but not Thor.” He whispered, bringing her out of her trance.
She turned and looked at him, looking at the floor. She guessed this was the end for them. Despite how hard she had fought and trained and wished and hoped and prayed, it was over. She looked at her ring on her finger and began to twirl it around her finger.

“Then there is only one option.” She whispered, slowly pulling the ring off her finger and placing it in the palm her hand.
She took one last look at her beautiful wedding ring and sadness filled her every fibre. She slowly reached her hand out to him. Her fist came into his view and he reached up under it. She opened her hand and the ring dropped into his palm. He gasped slightly and looked up at her.

“I won’t hurt you like that.” She whispered to him, holding his shocked gaze, as tears began to rim his eyes, but not fall.
“I’ll go back to Muspelheim.” She whispered, looking down at the floor, not able to hold his gaze.

“You don’t have to. Stay and have Thor’s child. At least that way you can be with me.” he said hastily, grabbing her hand in his and trying to convince her to stay.
She shook her head but didn’t look back up at him.

“It’s the lesser of two evils, and I don’t want to hurt you. This is the hand that’s been dealt to us. Let’s play it, for the last time.” she said, smiling weakly.
He nodded and let go of her hand. She had made her decision. And she was just as stubborn as Thor. There was no talking her out of it. He looked at the ring and remembered their wedding day. It was the perfect day, despite all the drama. There were some everlasting memories in there.

“Can you tell the guard I want to see Thor, and tell him my decision?” she asked Loki.
He nodded and stood up before walking over to the door.

He opened it and told the guard that she was ready to see Thor now. He nodded and sent someone to find him. Vara watched him, like this was going to be their last moments together. It very well might be. Thor might send her home right away. She hoped not. She wanted one last thing from Loki. Some consolation prize to help heal her heart. He walked back to her and helped her off the floor. She walked with him to the seat beside the bed and he sat her down before sitting down next to her. She leaned on him, holding him tightly, before she began crying hysterically. He held onto her, trying to comfort her, holding back his own tears. He would have an eternity to mourn the end of their love story. And to hate his brother for burning it alive.